Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Due today....

Today my little love...today you were due to be born...but the Lord had another plan for you...you were born 9 weeks ago straight into the Lords arms.

9 weeks later...I still miss you so much it hurts deeply...
9 weeks later...my grief for you still looms over my heart continually...it's something that doesn't ever go away...

9 weeks later...I still dream of you...wonder what you look like...
...I still long to kiss your face...to hold you in my arms...to smell your sweetness...to caress your little face...to hear your little coo's...to know your cry...to gaze into your eyes and tell you how much your mama loves you...to hold you close to me...

9 weeks later...for a split second I still catch myself planning for your arrival...thinking you'll be home for Christmas...

9 weeks later...it still blows me away that my hands and heart could be so full yet my arms still feel so painfully empty...my heart has a missing part and it's you...

9 weeks later...oh my baby girl, I hurt so much to have you here with us...

Our glorious, precious, joyous melody...our Zemirah Joylena...your family loves you so much...we talk about you every day...you have forever changed our lives...you have shown us the ability to find joy in the deepest part of our grief.

(we would love your continued prayers ... 9 weeks later, our sweet girl has still not been buried or released to us.)